Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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