dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
