By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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