I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
