Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
