Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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