singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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