apparently the secret to your success is patron
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize