my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
