this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
