the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
