Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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