how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
