Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
