im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
whose parrot is this?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
