Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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