You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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