She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
