you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
