she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
