What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
