how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
