I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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