my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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