I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
