would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
