Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
