girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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