Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He literally asked permission to hit on me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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