He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You took a bar mat shot.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
