From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
