He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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