Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
