my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
