My cat gives me a boner
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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