I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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