The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
