I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize