Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
