So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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