In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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