the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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