how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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