So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
