i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
