You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
