mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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