My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize