Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
