Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
false alarm, still single
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
