found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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