4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She announced her abortion via fbk
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
