you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
