Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
