Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize