Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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