I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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