clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
