just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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