I hate all girls vehemently.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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