can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
