you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
