I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
