I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
