you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is the high leading the old right now
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
