ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
