she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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