The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
