I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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