Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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