and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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