bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
