Why does Corona taste like a burp?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize