im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
