i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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